tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post1065933812276058997..comments2024-03-26T09:45:22.898+00:00Comments on MimiinDublin: Bubble has BurstMimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08100985140335023467noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-55037987881604046892012-07-22T01:25:59.544+01:002012-07-22T01:25:59.544+01:00Thanks Madge, will let you know how it goes!Thanks Madge, will let you know how it goes!Mimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08100985140335023467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-37899814718370588852012-07-22T01:24:24.672+01:002012-07-22T01:24:24.672+01:00Hi Zuzana, hope it was a good vacation!
Not too la...Hi Zuzana, hope it was a good vacation!<br />Not too late at all, your input and good advice is very much appreciated. <br />Calm,keep calm. Think I've got it!Mimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08100985140335023467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-43049947761855389782012-07-20T18:11:59.026+01:002012-07-20T18:11:59.026+01:00Sometimes if we are inadvertently adding any porti...Sometimes if we are inadvertently adding any portion to the problem, if we confess our fault first before confronting their issues it makes things smoother (at least that seems to help me)... hoping you get it worked out...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-44381413034537052302012-07-19T15:01:49.566+01:002012-07-19T15:01:49.566+01:00I just returned from a min vacation, so sorry if I...I just returned from a min vacation, so sorry if I am too late with my comment.<br />I am like you, I hate conflicts. When I was young, it was impossible for me to point out something negative to someone else so I suffered a lot, being a very shy and insecure person. It has changed over the years, but i am still not a very good mediator. Today I do not mind anymore, but i get too passionate with my words and tend to overreact, so conflicts are not my thing at all.<br />What I have learned though from others is that the most important thing is to remain calm, at all times. Just talk calmly and explain what you feel and do not let yourself become swept by emotions in your conduct. If she gets that way, there is nothing you can do. Strength comes from control and calmness, not violence.<br />I hope this will resolve for you somehow, you have my sympathies.;)<br />xoxoZuzanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02137958790178864561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-22243106279448554332012-07-19T14:41:55.045+01:002012-07-19T14:41:55.045+01:00Hi Maggie, I agree that she is unsure of herself u...Hi Maggie, I agree that she is unsure of herself under all the loud showoff stuff. So I will approach gently but firmly. It's not easy for me to change places, cos I've spent hours working on the particular part, but better players than me would do it with no bother. I just feel that for that one piece, I've worked too hard to change at this stage.Mimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08100985140335023467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-50455798268401659882012-07-19T14:39:30.852+01:002012-07-19T14:39:30.852+01:00lol Rudee! No, I think we can both survive, will l...lol Rudee! No, I think we can both survive, will let you know how it goes!Mimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08100985140335023467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-39688784892302752422012-07-19T14:38:55.350+01:002012-07-19T14:38:55.350+01:00Marianne, I agree it's not easy (I'd rathe...Marianne, I agree it's not easy (I'd rather avoid it, but I know I can't).<br />I do have to get back in control.Mimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08100985140335023467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-34885149634145386082012-07-19T14:38:03.930+01:002012-07-19T14:38:03.930+01:00lol Eddie, I would love to do that!
But I'll h...lol Eddie, I would love to do that!<br />But I'll hold back, this time, and just say it to her!<br />Thanks for a good laugh, you always make me laugh!Mimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08100985140335023467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-53353308509565850272012-07-19T14:37:12.982+01:002012-07-19T14:37:12.982+01:00thanks Robin, last time when she wrote on my music...thanks Robin, last time when she wrote on my music I moved it out of her reach, but not in a very obvious way. I think I need to be more obvious!<br />I too loved the "only have time to listen to the person in charge", it's great advice which I will remember.Mimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08100985140335023467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-70164534187057581062012-07-19T14:35:31.295+01:002012-07-19T14:35:31.295+01:00love this Amy!love this Amy!Mimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08100985140335023467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-57969428035423463952012-07-19T14:35:19.076+01:002012-07-19T14:35:19.076+01:00oh my goodness Amy, is there no end to your talent...oh my goodness Amy, is there no end to your talent? What you're saying here makes complete sense to me. So very helpful, thank you.Mimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08100985140335023467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-49599381733013230332012-07-19T14:34:09.038+01:002012-07-19T14:34:09.038+01:00thanks Pam for your advice. I'm working on the...thanks Pam for your advice. I'm working on the wording for approaching her!Mimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08100985140335023467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-59172053559076570632012-07-18T14:10:16.498+01:002012-07-18T14:10:16.498+01:00Oh dear, what a horrible situation to find yoursel...Oh dear, what a horrible situation to find yourself in.<br />I wonder if she realises that she's being so rude?<br />I wouldn't let her write on my music....... that is going too far.<br />If she criticises your playing, then I would expect her to be perfect. Is she? I would be surprised to hear that she was.<br />I expect it would be difficult to change places with someone else what with you playing an instrument. It would be fairly easy for a singer to do that.<br />Why should you have to put up with her? You were there first.<br />Tell her to go jump into a French horn, I would. Just ignore her because she sounds very unsure of herself under that egocentric facade.<br />Maggie X<br /><br /><a href="http://granniemay.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Nuts in May</a>Maggie Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06183886005936250976noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-17785159837515998482012-07-17T17:41:21.273+01:002012-07-17T17:41:21.273+01:00Hmmm. Need a shovel? I'll help you bury the ...Hmmm. Need a shovel? I'll help you bury the body.Rudeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17889298704039071473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-32440066522443998142012-07-17T10:45:46.861+01:002012-07-17T10:45:46.861+01:00Hi Mimi,
I hope you can get the right result! Lik...Hi Mimi,<br /><br />I hope you can get the right result! Like you, I hate conflict but a lifetime of trying to avoid it and having things either continue or escalate has made me decide that the best way forward is to grasp the nettle. Do it when you are ready and prepared, coolly, calmly and with consideration for the feelings of the person you are confronting. Never easy, but if you get it right you can get the other person onside and get back in control. Good luckCatherinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588437065757203375noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-72977641604367338062012-07-16T23:07:37.126+01:002012-07-16T23:07:37.126+01:00Infuriating behaviour. Stick some bubble gum down ...Infuriating behaviour. Stick some bubble gum down her French Horn and hope her bubble bursts!! No seriously can't you have a quiet word with the conductor or be more assertive and tell her to buzz off! Or tell her that up to now everyone is very happy with my performance so what is her problem. Oh I wish I could have a go at her for you!! Grrrr! I am angry about the situation - there always seems someone like that in any activity.<br />Apart from all that - thanks for your comment and nice to be back . . . . and my latest post might make you laugh!!<br />Hugs ~ EddieEddie Bluelightshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18069024660422117718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-19126675304229746752012-07-16T07:12:19.311+01:002012-07-16T07:12:19.311+01:00Perhaps the next time she goes to write something ...Perhaps the next time she goes to write something (a behavior which is really quite shocking, and very immature) just tell her "hold on a moment, I see you didn't bring a note pad, here's a piece of scratch paper you can make your notes on".<br /><br />And I LOVE the response about how you only have time to listen to the person in charge. <br /><br />Sounds like she's very immature, hopefully a kind but firm putting in her place will be all you need to do the trick.Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02409530202277375625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-88481072821886943402012-07-16T05:51:00.354+01:002012-07-16T05:51:00.354+01:00I often had to tell people, I'm sorry, I only ...I often had to tell people, I'm sorry, I only have the time to listen to one person in charge and then just smile. Show her your boundaries.Unspokenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16065870952905767595noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-6017147623975486202012-07-16T05:49:52.307+01:002012-07-16T05:49:52.307+01:00I used to sing back up with bands. Jealous people ...I used to sing back up with bands. Jealous people are always like rude teenage girls, trying to undo the confident talent around them. The more critical they are, the more you can be sure they are jealous of your talent and the place you have secured with the musicians. Don't let her do it. Handle her like a rude teenage girl. She needs to grow up. It sounds harsh, but I KNOW this type of woman all too well.Unspokenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16065870952905767595noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-60327130819998870732012-07-16T00:04:24.399+01:002012-07-16T00:04:24.399+01:00First off, she sounds like a terrible person that ...First off, she sounds like a terrible person that is inconsiderate. I would approach this situation openly and honestly. Perhaps you could say something like " You know I am an adult and I don't really appreciate you acting this way." This tell her exactly what is bother you about her.<br /><br />In a strange twist, I have heard that what bothers us in others is something that bothers us as well. Usually when I have that strong of feeling about someone, they may be like me. I'm sure that is not the case here. <br /><br />Good luck and have courage.Finding Pamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07671978828279304904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-83811002106109929252012-07-15T23:46:43.727+01:002012-07-15T23:46:43.727+01:00Aw Stephanie, your support (and offer to come over...Aw Stephanie, your support (and offer to come over!!) is really appreciated.<br />I feel so much better already. I was almost in tears when I hit "publish", but now I feel I will be able to handle the situation. She's young, and even though she's a great player, she needs to learn how to co-operate! I appreciate her pointing out if I play something wrong, but there was other behaviour, and writing on my music is just unacceptable! <br />I've heard that in a previous ensemble, when things weren't going her way, she burst into tears, and I don't want that to happen.<br />Will post how it all pans out.Mimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08100985140335023467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-52140080952297329372012-07-15T23:41:03.363+01:002012-07-15T23:41:03.363+01:00This comment has been removed by the author.Mimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08100985140335023467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-80948567353254286452012-07-15T23:40:15.805+01:002012-07-15T23:40:15.805+01:00Kerri, glad I'm not the only one who avoids/ha...Kerri, glad I'm not the only one who avoids/hates conflict! Thanks for very helpful advice, and I will try to work out what to say, with kindness. What a lovely way to put it.Mimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08100985140335023467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-66966700711805847892012-07-15T23:38:37.543+01:002012-07-15T23:38:37.543+01:00Thank you so much Pam! You gave me a good laugh, a...Thank you so much Pam! You gave me a good laugh, and much needed support. That is a huge help. Will let you know how it works out.Mimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08100985140335023467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300684524183031575.post-89386853360840670852012-07-15T23:36:03.505+01:002012-07-15T23:36:03.505+01:00Knowing you, Mimi, you will confront this situatio...Knowing you, Mimi, you will confront this situation with that kindness that Kerri mentions. Writing on your music? That's just nervy! You definitely should be able to say something about that. Loud and pushy may just be how she is. I think you could also gently point out that not everyone reacts well to negative criticism. <br />And if that doesn't work...I'm coming with Pam!Stephanie Vhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03206167025245206754noreply@blogger.com